Cool Titles or Names for the Designated Driver

What’s in a name?  Everything.  As the Double D you need a cool title.  It’s a must.  A cool title is like a badge of honor.  Here are a few suggestions if you can’t think up anything interesting and creative on your own. 

• Trustee of the Tipsy^TM
• Watchdog of the Woozy^TM
• Superintendent of the Sloppy^TM
• Escort of the Intoxicated^TM
• Buddy of the Boozed^TM
• Preserver of the Pickled^TM
• Lifeline of the Loaded^TM
• Rescuer of the Ripped^TM
• Bulwark of the Bombed^TM
• Manager of the Muddled^TM
• Guardian of the Glazed^TM
• Pilot of the Polluted^TM
• Dean of the Destroyed^TM
• Wheelman of the Wiped-Out^TM
• Chaperone of the Sloshed^TM
• Director of the Drunken^TM
• Executor of the Embalmed^TM
• Conductor of the Clobbered^TM
• Shepherd of the Sauced^TM
• Custodian of the Crocked^TM
• Patron of the Plastered^TM
• Usher of the Over-Served^TM
• Coordinator of the Crapulous^TM
• Helper of the Hammered^TM
• Benefactor of the Blitzed^TM
• Bodyguard of the Blacked-Out^TM
• Transporter of the Trashed^TM
• Safeguard of the Shit-Faced^TM
• Attendant of the Unconscious^TM
• Keeper of the Keys^TM
• Warden of the Wasted^TM