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Drunk on Powder: Powdered Alcohol Approved by the FDA

Updated on: 1/28/2019

What if alcohol were invented by the enterprising minds behind Spencer's Gifts? We might be able to find out now that the FDA has approved powdered alcohol for sale. The intoxicating dust “Palcohol” might be for sale as soon as this summer.

The inventor of Palcohol, Mark Phillips, scoffs at that a substance that has the same consistency as Kool-Aid and a cartoony name might be appealing to kids.  

Though if you look at Palcohol's website Phillips, or whoever wrote this copy, doesn't offer any good rebuttals. The website says that people responsibly enjoy alcohol all the time, which is the kind of obvious non-answer to any legitimate critique. But critiques leveled at palcohol center on its display and packaging.

Another one of Mark Phillips' brilliant rebuttals: "Practically, we know from experience that Prohibition doesn't work."

Historically we know that Prohibition didn't work. Practically we know that the current prohibition against powdered alcohol is working flawlessly.

What 'Black Market?'

There aren’t illegal stills producing sandboxes and antfarms filled with dried vodka. Phillips even admits, "no one has had access to the product and has no firsthand knowledge of it." This statement takes the venom out of Phillips later threat that the government’s failure to approve his product will “Create a black market, straining the state’s resources to enforce the ban.”

But what if people snort Palcohol, Mr. Phillips? "Listen," he types, "people can snort black pepper." I have a different question now, Mr. Philips, and that question is, Will you please not tell me what you do with other condiments?

Will it be easier to spike drinks or cause people to unwittingly over-imbibe? "Palcohol does not dissolve instantly in liquid and would take over a minute of stirring to dissolve." Again this isn’t really an answer but at least we know that Philips’s product, which is billed as convenient, isn't actually convenient.

Will this powder alcohol that’s easy to hide allow children to more easily hide their underage drinking from their parents? “One doesn't ban a product because of irresponsible behavior by a few.” Good to know he keeps up with the news.

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