The Kensington Police Service has surprised its citizens by announcing a decidedly unconventional new punishment for drunk driving. With the holiday season approaching, the department expects to see a rise in drivers getting behind the wheel after consuming alcohol at social events and staff parties. If they catch someone drinking and driving, there will now be an extra punishment on the ride to jail: criminals will be forced to listen to Nickleback in the police cruiser.
The department posted a picture of an unopened copy of Nickleback’s Silver Side Up album, and shared their hopes that they wouldn’t be forced to open it this holiday season. Silver Side Up was released in 2001; despite massive sales numbers around the world at the time of its release, police believe that few people would choose to listen to the album today.
Some outraged citizens have pushed back against the new punishment. One protested a Canadian police force’s defamation of a (supposedly) beloved Canadian band; another claimed that he would attempt to be arrested just to have the pleasure of listening to the album in the cruiser. Other commenters took a harsher stand against drunk driving, arguing that criminals should be subjected to opera, disco, Justin Bieber, Milli Vanilli, and other polarizing musicians. One pointed out that the punishment is especially ironic because Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickleback, was convicted of driving under the influence after a traffic stop in 2006.
How to stay safe (and Nickleback-free) this holiday season
Fortunately, no one has to endure any unwanted Nickleback this holiday season. Here’s how to have fun without getting nabbed for a DUI:
- Choose a designated driver. If you must drive to your designation, plan on carpooling, and find someone in your group who’s willing to spend the night sober.
- Call a cab. Yellow taxis, Ubers, Lyfts, and other rideshares will all be out in full force this holiday season. You don’t have to get behind the wheel drunk—let someone else get you home.
- Use public transit. It’s not as fast as a cab, but it’s much cheaper. Get home on a bus or train instead of driving drunk.
- Call someone to pick you up. It’s better to plan this in advance, but calling a friend or family member for help is still safer than driving yourself home while you’re impaired.
- Get a hotel room. Many hotels are located near nightlife spots. The only way to sober up is time, so if you’re still drunk after last call, it’s better to rent a hotel room than to try to drive home.